Tuesday, July 21, 2009

yesterday melanie got to go outside early in the morning before it got too hot. she sure loves it. it is such a joy to watch her awe-inspired at everything. she looked up at the morning sky and said, with true awe-struck wonder, "the sky is beautiful!"





she loves exploring the rocks and clover and ant holes--the ants are her friends and she makes their "doors" bigger for them. :) she picked clover for everyone in the family, including chocolate.




she is coughing even more today, but her cough is not effective and she is not clearing her lungs well. she broke out in a rash on all extremities which the ID doctor thinks is from the bactrim she is on for the UTI, so we switched her to vantin and added sulfa drugs to her already long list of allergies. she is not asking for a diaper as much, so thinking the antibiotics are working on the UTI.




today melanie was casted for her DAFOs (leg/ankle braces). will take 10-14 days to make them. she enjoyed talking with the nice guy who casted her legs and thought the whole process was pretty neat.




brandon and ethan both enjoyed holding and playing with our friend asa today. asa started fussing a little, so ethan thought he should hold him on his lap and watch veggie tales--asa thought it was a good idea too. :)

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The following is a special note from Rachel Green, a "team leader" for "Team Melanie"...
Hello Team Melanie! We are so excited to see that the Habitat Dedication Day is finally on the calendar for August 8th at 3:00 pm. So many amazing volunteers have invested their hearts and muscles into this wonderful project and we can now enjoy the fun part...putting the icing on the cake. We'd like to invite you all to join in on the fun.
The first thing you can do is send a special note or prayer to be included in the house dedication scrapbook. The second option is to send a gift card for the Gates to use to purchase paint, kitchen accessories, window coverings, furniture, appliances, etc. We're hoping to collect a stack of $20 gift cards for places like Home Depot, Bed, Bath & Beyond, Walmart, Sam's Club, Target, Macy's, Sears, etc.
If you want to help us paint the icing on the cake, you can send your note and/or gift card to Rochester Assembly of God, 4240 18th Ave NW, Rochester, MN 55901 (c/o gates family). Thank you all so much for the love you have poured out on the Gates family over the years. It is such a blessing to be united in love for sweet Melanie and her family.
I love being part of this team that spans the globe...your sister in Christ, Rachel

Saturday, July 18, 2009

is this october or july?

the weather sure is interesting considering it is the middle of july! no complaints here though, we have actually been able to have our air off and melanie has been able to go outside!!!





strange look for july--melanie bundled up blowing bubbles and watching the kids ride bikes. our friends were over; baby asa is in his car seat next to melanie.




melanie didn't want anymore pictures taken. :)



grandpa, brandon, melanie, and our friend mckenna checking out some rocks.




ethan and our friend samiah swinging.



ethan riding our gokart.


we found out melanie does have another urinary tract infection. it's not her usual enterococcus this time. the culture isn't finalized yet, so they are sure exactly what bacteria it is, but it appeared to be two different bacteria--one of which looked unusual. infectious disease doctor said it could be a typical bacteria whose appearance is altered because of all the antibiotics melanie has been on. the final results and susceptabilities won't be done until sunday. not sure if we will get the results sunday or monday. she went ahead and started melanie on an antibiotic that she thought might cover at least one of the bugs. this antibiotic increases her ostomy output, so we are dealing with that. hopefully she will soon feel better. she has been frequently asking for a diaper and then standing for hours trying to pass urine. the past few nights have had her awake much later than usual standing trying to void. it's the urgency/frequency associated with a UTI; add to that she has dysfunctional voiding (cannot empty her bladder completely--and most of the time can't empty it at all). during these times she doesn't want a cath (and it isn't at a time where she should need one, so i'm sure there is not much urine in her bladder). she was still having these symptoms today and tonight, so hopefully the antibiotics work soon.



she continues to have a hoarse voice and yucky cough with the cold she has. first thing in the morning is difficult for her. she has a hard time coughing the "junkies" out of her lungs so makes her uncomfortable. usually taking her inhaler helps somewhat.


melanie had a major . . .i don't know what to call it--flip out--this morning. i am not sure what the problem was exactly. i know she was having a bad episode of neuropathy and even the diaper she was wearing was causing pain; but she became wildly uncontrollable--thrashing, kicking, flailing, and "trying" to yell (her voice is so hoarse from the cold). thankfully it didn't last more than probably ten minutes, but it was very disturbing. afterwards she was perfectly fine, super sweet, and ready to play.


this morning she had what almost looked like tremors in her left hand/arm. she was laying on my bed and her left hand was quivering. it is the second time i've noticed something like this. just the day before she had come to me and told me that her arm was shaking but she wasn't doing it. it was her right arm that time that was quivering. i am no sure what to make of it--if it is just muscle fatigue or something more.



today was such a nice, cool day we decided to go to a local county fair. the weather was perfect for melanie. cloudy so not much sun, cool but not cold, not too humid, not too windy. the kids had an awesome time. it is so rewarding to see/hear melanie enjoy herself SO much when she gets to go to things like this. she has no fear and would go on every ride if we let her. they each went on the slide, the motorcycles, the ferris wheel, and then on the swings twice. then brandon got a sno cone, ethan got cotton candy, and melanie got sno cone ice with no flavor. those are big once-a-year treats! it was REALLY nice to get to do something together as a family, especially something outside that the kids enjoyed so much!!!




































i'm guessing melanie is having a slight autonomic response to being outside and the busy day. her skin was very mottled, face flushed, and eyes very dilated when we left the fair. her heart rate was also very elevated and remained that way for quite some time. now since she has been asleep her heart rate is all over the place dropping to the 70s then jumping to the 120s and everywhere in between.





i was exhausted and fell asleep early. i was awoken by one of brandon's nighttime "episodes" and have had trouble falling back to sleep which is why i am updating now, at 1 a.m.



i took brandon to the doctor to discuss his night time episodes. they are happening a couple times a week. starts off i assume he is sleeping walking. he is very disoriented and almost in an anxiety attack, pacing back and forth saying, "mom! mom!" but won't follow instructions or answer questions. his eyes are not focused and he doesn't understand what we ask him to do. many times he is holding his stomach and appearing nauseated. this "out of it" state can last from about 5 to 15 minutes during which time sometimes he is pacing and anxious the entire time, other times he wonders from the living room to the bathroom to his bedroom appearing to have no idea where he is going, etc. typically he eventually becomes coherent and many times is sick to his stomach, thinks he is going to throw up, and tosses and turns on the couch nauseated for a while before falling asleep. during this time he almost always comments that things are "too small" or "too far away" and is obviously disturbed by this disrupted perception. anyway, i took him in. he has had a longstanding problem with constipation which we know and have been treating with numerous medications, but he is still not regular. the doctor could tell by abdominal exam that his intestines are full. we are increasing his meds more but haven't noticed any improvement yet. she also put him on pepcid since he describes some of his night-time stomachaches as going up into his chest (and with the strong family history of reflux). regarding the altered visual perception, she said there is something called "alice in wonderland syndrome" which sounds exactly like what brandon is describing. it typically happens with mono, an aura associated with a migraine, and can happen with frontal lobe seizures. he doesn't have mono, doesn't appear to be having a migraine during these night time episodes, and because of his altered mental state at the time of these episodes, she is consulting neurology to see if he needs to be evaluated. it seems very unlikely that he would be experiencing seizures, but it is something to check into. we are praying we can find an easy solution to these episodes as they are very disruptive and disconcerting for everyone.





for some good news, our house dedication is officially set for august 8 at 3 p.m. we do not get the keys that day. the closing is scheduled for august 17. that is when we will get the keys. we are so thankful to our wonderful friends, the baileys. their whole family was out working on our house today. they have really taken on an active role in helping with every aspect of this exciting move for us. robin is putting together a scrapbook of pictures of the building of the house. she and her coworkers are planning on coming in and moving us--boxing everything up, moving it, and setting it up for us. sheldon has been out working on the house countless times. today their whole family was out there as well as one of their friends. i can't thank you guys enough; you have done so much for our family and we appreciate you so much!!


shelby standing in front of the newly cleaned-out garage. you should have seen it before; they did a LOT of work today! and shelby swept it out for us!



go the cupboards and appliances in the kitchen. looking more like a house!

Monday, July 13, 2009

blood pressure, colds, books, and the beach

we had some fun lego time this morning. legos are definitely the most-played-with item in our house!




guess we bored chocolate though :)



melanie is seeming to feel somewhat better. her blood pressure is better since going back to the 100 mcg clonidine patch. she is still on edge occasionally and had a bad headache over the weekend as well as the usual tummy pain. she is doing more playing though. today, however, she started with a cold (ethan and i both have colds) and her voice is very hoarse. she had trouble clearing the "junkies" from her lungs and asked for her inhaler and CPT (chest physiotherapy) a couple times today.


melanie and ethan are both getting very good at reading dick and jane books. this weekend they were both laying on the floor reading a book together. so cute!




my parents neighbors, ron and sue, recently celebrate their 50th wedding aniversary (congratulations!!) and sent some cake with my mom to give us. yum! we sure enjoyed it! and melanie had a great time feeding me a piece and breaking a piece up with her hands.


i took the boys to the beach this evening. they had a great time! melanie was so sweet before we left. she asked where we were going. i told her we were going to the beach. her eyes got wide and she said, "the beach! will you take pictures for me so i can see the sand and the water and the boys playing there?!" she would absolutely love going to the beach, but that is not possible with her central line and other tubes. it was just so sweet and heart-breaking to see the excitment on her face and her simple request for me to take pictures. sometimes the reality of how unfair this all is hits harder than other times. it was a great joy to take the boys to the beach tonight, but i couldn't help "mourn" the fact that we can never go as a family and melanie will--in the forseeable future--never know what it is like to go to the beach. i usually try not to dwell on those things and not let them bother me, but it got to me a bit tonight. must have been bugging the boys a bit too. at one point brandon said, "ethan, do you miss melanie?" ethan said, "yeah." brandon said, "me too." then we we got home ethan alarmingly said, "mom, did you take pictures?!" then, remembering he said, "oh yeah, you took lots of pictures for our little sweetheart." he wanted to make sure there was pictures to show her in the morning.

melanie SATS are down a bit tonight, will go put her on some oxygen.


brandon continues to wake up quite a few nights a week feeling like he is going to throw up. i haven't yet found a consistent correlation in activity or what he eats, but it is definitely not fun and makes for little sleep.


here are some pictures from last friday at my parents house:
a cousin/sibling huddle!

dylan and ireland, brandon and ethan ready to go to the pool (it's an outdoor pool and too hot for melanie, so she stayed and grandma/pa's house and rested)

Friday, July 3, 2009





still not sure what is going on. the ptosis (drooping eyelids) continued and was worse this evening.
she is not blinking in these pictures; this is how far open her eyes were after her shower
her eyes are also notably "different" when she looks at you. she almost appears "drugged."
not sure if you can see it in the picture; but she has the "drugged" look in this picture as she raises her eyebrows to help with the droopy eyelids
she did walk around a bit this afternoon and even had a good shower. she had an open area of skin under the dressing that covers her port today. it's sore and a little oozy. don't like to have open sores near her port. she was very fatigued after the shower and her eyes were very droopy. i carried her to bed, and she fell asleep quickly. another alarming sign is that her blood pressure is very low (68/42). she has never had a blood pressure that low. i spoke with the oncall resident who was very alarmed by the low blood pressure, especially in combination with her other symptoms. the most worrisome to me is the fact that this is so "different" than anything i've ever seen with melanie. the excessive fatigue, not able to stand for a few seconds, the severe ptosis, the "way" she looks at us, and the very low blood pressure. if she had a fever, i'd be into the ER in a heartbeat. but with no fever, it's possible this is all just part of a crash and she is autonomically unstable. the doctor i spoke to wanted me to bring her in now. i would just hate to drag her out of bed into the germ-ridden ER if this is all "just" a crash with autonomic instability . . .if that's the case the thing she needs most is SLEEP, which she would get very little of if i take her in. on the other hand, i'd hate to not take her in if this is the start of a line infection or something. ugh. i don't like making these decisions.

excessive fatigue

melanie sitting in the kids' "elevator" on wednesday


wednesday we went to the library. kids had fun picking out books and videos and dvds.


melanie and ethan outside the library with mother goose

melanie picking out books at the library

ethan picking out videos at the library

yesterday wasn't the best day. melanie was quite edgey. she ended up falling asleep on the floor around 3 p.m. for her to fall asleep during the day is VERY unusual. she fights sleep like crazy then usually crashes around 6 p.m. and goes to bed for the night. she slept from about 3 to 5 p.m. she didn't appear to be feeling well when she woke up. she laid on the couch for about an hour then asked to go to bed. went to bed at 6 and slept until almost 8 this morning. since waking up she has been laying on my bed, almost asleep. her heart rate is in the 70s which is very unusual (should be near/around 100). when she stood to have her ostomy emptied she got very cranky and her legs were tired. her temp is 99.3, she still has the cough she's had for three weeks, but i can't figure out anything that could be causing her to be so weak and "off." even though she is awake now, her eyes are about half-way closed. we are having ethan play in the other room. she just wants it quiet. any noise is very bothersome to her. i have no idea what is going on. typically with an illness her heart rate will be high; seeing it this low is very strange, and i'm not sure what to make of it. she is obviously very fatigued, way more than usual; but i can't figure out what the problem is. maybe this is "just" the crash we have been expecting for weeks.








brandon is at family camp with friends of ours. i'm sure he is having a great time. we are missing him, but he will be back on sunday.